who wears short shorts

Dear potentially pregnant girl out on the corner of green and sixth last night,

I am not sure if you aware of this, but your dress code last night was not the most pleasing image we wanted to see as soon as we walked out of the bars.

Your striking red flannel top that was tied up above your protruding, spherical abdomen section as it gently rested on the 2-size too small daisy duke jean shorts was a very bold choice, one i'm sure you may be regretting right now.

Perhaps you were pregnant and wanted to wear something a little more revealing because you have been self-conscience about your growing body. However, I do not believe that to be the case becuase my friends said that there was no way your were preggers based on their analysis.

Or maybe you do not own a mirror thus had no idea of knowing what situation you were getting yourself into that evening.

Whichever the case may be, i think you need to reevaluate the people you call friends because if the people you were out with last night were your true friends, they would not have let you step foot outside into the public eye in the state you were in last night.

I am sure you are a nice - perhaps even a little funny - person, however you did not make a very good first impression last night.

Let's hope that we meet again under different circumstances.

Thank You

Sincerely,

Various members of the student body on Green St. around 2am last night